Still grateful
Today was a tough day, love. You are still in deep recovery mode, but Lakan is legit sick. He had to stay home from school with a runny nose and a cough. So even though you’re not really driving yet, you had to take him to get a COVID test. Somehow you barely sat down today because when your kid is sick, that’s just how it goes.
Good job getting your walks in. Good job continuing to work at your spirometer. Good job getting your feet rubbed on. And good job keeping your head cool with him. This could be universe telling you that you can handle a little more. (Universe seems to be sending down a lot of questionable shit lately for everyone.) People seem to keep telling you that you are so strong. Right now you don’t feel strong, I know. I see that your kind goes to, “If I’m so strong, why did this happen to me?” Maybe one thing doesn’t have anything to do with the other. You do know that you have been so strong. And you know that you still are. But you want to soften. And you are. We are learning to breathe again—remember that you are setting a new foundation now.
Tomorrow, work a little harder to work less, even if your boy is still sick. Sit down more. Close your eyes in the middle of the day. Pray. Meditate. Give thanks. The leaves are beautiful and you walked a little further today. I love you.
